Prominent Me

When my spirit speaks, I write...


It’s as if there are two of me. One more prominent than the other. More prominent in a sense of it shows itself the majority of the time. It is what the world sees. It is what I see. It is the one that was created at conception. Not since the beginning of my creation, but since my cycle of life on Earth began. The one that’s less prominent is me, it is I, my spirit, which is truly the most prominent. The most prominent one, my spirit, flashes before my mind, as if it’s trying to break through, but it’s as if I don’t have enough mental strength to hold on to it, but is it truly because I don’t have enough mental strength to hold on to it or is it because I am not ready to receive it, to be fully awaken by what really is? It melts away, slips right out of my clutch, until it’s ready to show itself again. When it slips away, I try to remember what it showed me. It feels like waking up from a dream, knowing you’ve dreamed, but cannot, for anything in the world, remember the dream, however, you remember how the dream made you feel. I then, the more prominent me, go back into the world, living life in what I now know is a dream; a dream that is made up by everyone in the world, a dream that is made up by me, by what I have seen, what I have experienced, what I have felt, what I have thought, what I have been taught, ever since I began my cycle of life on Earth. I know it is a false realm developed by society’s dreams - not consciously, but subconsciously. Everything was pre-made before I began my cycle of life. I was born into this space that immediately covered my true self. That never gave me the opportunity to discover my true self. I was placed into a realm of falseness that feels real, that seems real, but that I now know is not real. How do I know it’s not real? Because I have experienced and I do experience, spurts of the truth, spurts of what is real. I know my spurts are real because my eyes are open for a matter of seconds. As if my eyes have been wiped with glass cleaner, I literally see what surrounds me vividly. I am able to see what’s around me in such a clear spectrum. And for some reason, I naturally gravitate to focus on the trees, the leaves on the trees, the sky, the clouds, the blueness of the above. It doesn’t feel like I’m looking out of myself; like I’m looking at a book or a movie or a piece of fruit or a piece of paper or a screw. It feels like I’m literally in it. Like I’m a part of it. Like I’m a piece of it. Like I am something that chipped off of a tree or a spec of cloud floating in the air or like I am the air. That’s what it feels like, like I’m a piece of air, just being in the creation of it all, as I am part of the creation. It feels as if, for a few seconds, I am much greater than my physical existence. The feeling - one like no other. It feels like love, warmth, peace, ecstasy, calm, euphoria, clarity - all mixed into one. It’s a feeling that’s truly indescribable. No words can truly describe the overall experience. It is a experience that cannot be explained, only felt through experience. It's s a feeling I wish I felt every second. To be continued…


Always with you in mind,

Che' Antoinette


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